Throughout the YoGPoD there are small segments that act as transitions from one topic to another. These usually consist of Simon Lane voicing one of his many impersonations or original characters to shamelessly self-promoting the YoGPoD.
Simon
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Music starts playing
Simon: You're listening to the YoGPoD.
Music fades out
Brian Blessed's Wife
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Music starts playing
Hildegarde Neil: HELLO! I'M BRIAN BLESSED'S WIFE! AND I LISTEN TO THE YOGPOD! GOODBYE!
Simon and Lewis laugh
Music fades out
iTunes
Edit
Music starts playing
iTunes: "Beep beep boop boop boop be beep beep boop boop boop. This is your iTunes speaking. Thank you for listening to YoGPoD. I enjoy listening to YoGPoD. Thank you! Be be be boop boop."
Music fades out
French Man
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Accordion Music starts playing
French Man: 'Allo, you are leesening, to the YoGPoD. C'est bon! C'est tres bon! Ohn Hohn Hohn Hohn.
Accordion Music fades out
Follow-up
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Tequila MIDI starts playing
French Man: 'Allo, I am a mex-ee-cawn, an' you are leesening, to the YoGPoD.
Lewis [citation needed]: I don't think that's what a Mexican sounds like.
Tequila MIDI fades out
J.K. Rowling
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Music starts playing
Child: Mummy! Mummy! Can I listen to the YoGPoD?
J.K. Rowling: FUCK OFF!
Child: Mummy! No!
Simon goes from doing the sad child voice to laughing
Music fades out
Simon: Obviously, that's J.K. Rowling and her child.
Lewis laughs
Kenny Baker
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Music starts playing
Kenny Baker: 'ello, this is Kenny Baker and I listen to the YoGPoD.
Music fades out
Lewis laughs
Simon: That is just weird.
Lewis: You wanna say, this is Kenny Baker, and then what he's famous for.
Music starts playing
Kenny Baker: Hello, this is Kenny Baker. I'm famous for being a dwarf and I listen...
Simon and Lewis start laughing midway through the sentence
Music fades out
Lewis: No...
Simon and Lewis continue laughing
Music starts playing
Simon: Hello...
Simon starts laughing almost instantly
Music fades out
Simon: God, I can't do it now.
Music starts playing
Kenny Baker: 'ello, this is Kenny Baker and I'm famous for being the dwarf who was inside of R2D2 in the Star Wars franchise of movies. And I listen to the YoGPoD.
Music fades out
Lewis laughs
Michael MacDonald
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Peter Maziotti: This is Michael MacDonald and I listen to the YoGPoD all day!
A man
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Music starts playing
Man: I'm a man, and when I'm not 'avin' a pint in the pub or working on t' building site, I listen t' YoGPoD.
Music fades out
Old man who's fallen over
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Music starts playing
Old man: I'm an old man and I've fallen over. I can't get up. But it's alright, because I've got me iPod and I'm listening to the YoGPoD. Oooh, me back. Oh God, oh God.
Music fades out
Simon and Lewis laugh
Simon: That was pretty funny.
Lewis: That was very funny.
Old man with haemorrhoids while riding a horse
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Music starts playing
Lewis: Who else have we forgotten? Um... Can you do...
Simon: It's gonna be something ridiculous. You're gonna gi... You're gonna say: "Old man with haemorrhoids who's riding a horse," and I'm going to be like "What?!?"
Lewis laughs
Lewis: Can you do that?
Simon: Oh God. Han... hang on... See if I can... I wanted to make some kind of, like, noise that sounds like I'm on a horse.
Lewis: You need some coconuts or something.
Simon uses an unspecified object to make tapping sounds
Simon: That's too... tinny, isn't it. Hang on.
Simon begins tapping his keyboard with a comb
Old man: I'm an old man, with haemorrhoids...
Simon doesn't finish and starts laughing
Lewis laughs
Simon (laughing): This is ridiculous. This is utterly ridiculous. What am I doing? I'm hitting my fucking keyboard with a comb!
Music fades out
Follow-up
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The single time the above liner was used, the following short liner was used as the next one.
Music starts playing
Sounds of Simon tapping the keyboard with a comb can be heard
Lewis: Can you do...
Music fades out
Queen Elizabeth II
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Music starts playing
The Queen: Hello? I am her royal highness Queen Elizabeth II. And this YoGPoD is by royal appointment. Hello? Hello? One fancies a Jaffa Cake. Mmm.
Music fades out
Russian caveman
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Music starts playing
Russian/Caveman: You listen YoGiPoD.
Simon: I don't know what that is.
Lewis: Is that a caveman or a Russian?
Simon: I don't know.
Russian caveman: Russian caveman, YoGPoD, YoGiPoD.
Music fades out
Simon's Uncle
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Music starts playing
Bill: I'm Soimon's uncle, and when I'm not running away from spoiders, or fahrming, or cleaning up pig sheet, I like listening to the YoGParD.
Lewis laughs
Lewis: "Pig sheet"?
Simon: Yeah.... fuck.
Music fades out
Tina Barrett
Edit
Music starts playing
Tina Barrett: Ooh, hello. I'm Tina Barrett formerly of S Club 7. I still have yet to release my... my debut solo album because, it's not really going very well, but, um, in the meanwhile I like to listen to the YoGPoD. Ooh, it's, it's really good, ooh... Lewis and Simon... are really amazing. Goodbye.
Simon barely finishes and starts laughing
Music fades out
Lewis laughs
Lewis (laughing): Goodbye.
Simon and Lewis laugh
Lewis: I don't know why I said goodbye there.
Simon laughs
Lewis laughs
Lewis: I just, I just felt like it was polite.
Robotic Tina Barrett
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Music starts playing
Text-to-speech engine: Hello, I'm Tina Barrett from S Club 7 and I listen to the YoGPoD.
Music fades out
Warwick Davis
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Music starts playing
Warwick Davis: 'ello! I'm Warwick Davis and I'm in a sewer, but I still listen to the YoGPoD.
Simon: And what you can do is you can actually add like an echo-ey sound effect onto that.
Lewis laughs
Simon laughs
Lewis (laughing): Or just... ni, n... not.
Simon: Maybe some dripping water.
Simon and Lewis laugh
Music fades out