Simon's Jam is the name given to a large heavenly body flying through the deepest part of deep space. The origin of the name comes from the fact that the core of the body is a large collection of Simon Lane's finest jam. One time when Brian Blessed tried stealing his jam, Simon put it in his cupboard, which he put in a safe, which he then put in a bigger safe with a random code, which he then buried in the woods. The woods were then covered with concrete and tar, dug up and placed in the center of the Moon. Finally, the moon was knocked off Earth's orbit and entered another galaxy, where "some alien species" coated it with diamond.
- One can only dream of what it tastes like. Although, it's best that you don't.
- According to the Hubble Telescope, Simon's Jam is currently orbiting Tatooine.
- This may or not be the location of Simon's jam. http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/08/25/us-planet-diamond-idUSTRE77O69A20110825