Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.

Her Majesty the Queen Elizabeth II, (born 21 April 1926) is the constitutional monarch of the Empire and of the United Kingdom, as well as many islands all over the world (places like the Falklands). She is Supreme Governor of the Church of England and, in some of her realms, carries the title of Defender of the Faith as part of her full title.


Her Majesty (an impression of her by Simon) has appeared several times during in the YoGPoD mainly in liners, however she also delivered the 2010 Christmas Message on the YoGPoD.

Christmas Message 2010Edit

"Hello! My husband and I would very much like to thank you all this year for the support you have given us. I give all of my support to those overseas serving in my armies. We've had a very troubling year, and blah blah blah... My grandson William is getting married TO SOME LITTLE HUSSY! She hasn't got blue blood in her! She's not even related!"

The Queen's Cream Tea ProcedureEdit

In the YoGPoD episode 40: Toaster Mic, Simon revealed the "optimum requirements" for making cream tea upon a visit of Her Royal Highness.

First of all, the table needs to be laid, because it hasn't got any in a very long time and it's very tense. For this, certain items are required:

  • A nice, freshly laundered, starched and pressed tablecloth with floral print and frills and lace around it.
  • A mahogany wood table with one single leg.
  • A comfy, upholstered chair with floral print and pink and gold stitching and a lace doily on the back of the chair.
  • Circular lace doilies on the table, on the arms of the chair, on the floor and strapped onto Her Majesty's knees and elbows.

In addition, whomever is serving the cream tea is required to wear a tuxedo and bow tie. The china that you use is very important. It needs to be a nice crockery set and a big yellow Timothy Dalton teapot with a knitted Mr Blobby tea cozy. Also, only the best and finest tea should be used (PG tips, none of that Tetley crap). The rigmarole of preparing and serving the tea is as follows:

  • If it's just The Queen by her own who's having tea, you put two tea bags in the teapot.
  • Swirl them around a bit and leave them to Stew, because Stew knows how to make tea (he's very good at that).

The scones, butter, jam, cream and milk is served thusly:

  • On a plate.
  • As a full service, with a Happy Ending.The Queen insists upon it.​

Trivia Edit

  • The Queen is quite adverse to making scone sandwiches.
  • Her Majesty the Queen, she always wears doilies all over her body.
  • While drinking tea, the Queen picks up the teacup with her forefinger and thumb, and her little finger is sticking out so it looks like she's making sort of a devil sign.
  • According to Simon in Chess Boxing and Other New Years Party Games, the Queen (or "Her Maj with the Vaj, as Simon referred to her) came down with Swine Flu, causing Bucking Palace to "smell like a fucking abattoir".

Quotes Edit

  • "Hello, I am the Queen!"
  • "Did you just say the BUTTOCKS word to One's face?!"
  • "This YoGPoD is by royal appointment."
  • "One fancies a Jaffa Cake."
  • "Would you like an OBE? ...I think I've got one in a drawer somewhere."